She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
