That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The air was thick with penises
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I need to sanitize my soul.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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