Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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