Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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