I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
