suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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