So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
