just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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