Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
