i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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