what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
She even gives head with a lisp.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
