Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
