Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
