you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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