Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
