you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
