so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
