If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
