they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
