Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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