it wasn't lemon gatorade
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
