I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
