As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
