She said her name was "party"
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
