We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
