Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
