she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
