Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
