he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
