I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
