I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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