We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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