you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
