I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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