Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
