I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
