he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
