THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I have tasted many bathrooms
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
