He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
