i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
