I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
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