your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
dude i'm inner monologue high
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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