this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
