Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
