C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
