oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
