I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
last night I used snow as a chaser
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
