Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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