Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
