what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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