Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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