Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I have post one night stand depression
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