I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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